This past year I’ve felt like I’ve been in constant motion.
A revelation here. A spark of inspiration there.
A new and improved way of doing something.
A new way to serve you.
A better way. Always better.
+++
Sometimes in order to find what you love, you gotta find what you don’t love so much first.
You gotta try. Experiment.
But the thing with trying and experimenting comes ego. That you got it wrong, that it wasn’t quite right, that you didn’t hit the jackpot.
Most of this year I’ve been in an epic battle with my mind. She’s been berating me, telling me that I’m a complete idiot for not getting it perfect the first time. Like I’m supposed to be the polished professional version of myself who gets it right every freaking time.
And so I confess, most of what I’ve experimented with this year hasn’t been that perfect sweet spot.
The things I’ve tried haven’t tantalised MY taste buds like Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough does… Ya know, that obsession you have with something that hits the spot jusssttttt right… haven’t felt that in my business 90% of the time.
And to be honest, I’ve beaten myself up far too much because of it. I’ve scowled myself for putting something out there. Changing my mind a few days later. Adding something. Tweaking it. All in the name of finding that thing that resonates with me. I’ve judged the shit out of myself for experimenting in my business. For playing. For following an idea and discovering that we weren’t the perfect fit.
At the same time, I hear you saying (and thank you): everything you’ve done has gotten you closer to your truth, your desires, you thang….so it’s all perfect. It’s all meant to happen this way. This was how it was supposed to unfold.
That’s what experimenting does. Gets you one step closer, right?
I know so many other business peeps would have played the cool card. The get ‘crystal clear’ card. The waiting game. For ages and ages waiting for the sign.
But for me, for my super strategic, action-taking, impatient and inquisitive brain… I can’t (most of the time…although I’m learning when patience pays off).
I’m like a giant kid. I need to learn and feel into it. I need to experience and then see how that feels.
It’s just the way I learn. And connect.
It’s why I’m so great at the details. I will sit down and try it. And do it. Until I get it. And that’s also why I fell asleep in my lectures at uni, because I can’t sit and listen to someone tell me. I have to do.
And so that’s what I’ve been doing this whole year.
Doing.
A confession again: 90% of the shit I’ve done hasn’t been a 100% hit rate for me.
But boy has it gotten me closer and closer to what I truly want and need from my business.
+++
What I’m really searching for is:
Connection +
Fun +
Making spirituality real.
These have hounded to me by my highest self all year, and yet it wasn’t until recently how they became clear.
+++
You see, I lost touch with how my business gets my juices going.
I was operating on auto-pilot. On strategy-pilot for so long I tapped out.
I lost touch with my true message.
My truth.
It’s cool. We all do it. I mean look at the stimulation that’s out there in the world… shiny new object helllooooooo!
+++
A lot of things happened to me this year that were the catalyst for clarity. A breakup, a break down, a relocation to Tasmania, a move back to Melbourne, an overseas trip.
All brilliant teachers for me to reconnect.
To tune back into my truth.
My highest self.
And as a result, things are shifting.
I’m getting clearer on how I operate and how I want to operate. (hot tip: you get to fucking choose, man!!!)
My priorities, my desires, my values. I get to have them all!
+++
Here’s what I stand for:
From the moment I wake up in the morning, the very first thought in my mind is’ damn, I love being me’ followed quickly by… ‘and I’m hella sexy too. Today’s going to be a fucking rad day.’
My heart glows when I allow myself to receive all the love and all the things (and when a new Mindy Project comes out… and Harry Styles). My heart breaks when I see people so shut off from believing they’re worthy and deserving of all the love and all the things.
My crew are sisters from another mister, brothers from another mother. BFF’s. More than anything else, I care about helping them feel fucking amazing in their whole entire lives – business included.
I want them to think they’re THE SHIT. The best. The one. BANANAS.
B – A – N – A – N – A – S.
In my world, rad kicks are an absolute necessity.
Champagne is always a good idea, and gluten free is overrated.
Judging others is a definite no.
Fantasising about Harry Styles is totally reasonable.
Striving to become the best version of you is a must.
BUT… at the end of the day… love, connection and fun are all that matters.
When I die, ya’ll can remember me as the gal who made spirituality rad and real, and the Aussie who inspired you to love yourself without loosing yourself.
+++
Ways I’m calling in my priorities:
1. Connection
I’m developing a new way to work with me in your business and life. I’m talking the WHOLE SHEBANG. Here’s a hint: 12 months. You + me. Partners in crime. BFFs.
And… maybe videos too?
2. Fun
More dancing, more exploring, more laughter, more real life connections. I’m going to be bringing some real life things to well… real life. I’m thinking mini workshops, wine and cheese hangs, manipedi business meetings, face to face, hug to hug shit. Making new friends, kissing more boys. Being present and talking about shit and the deep stuff at the same time.
3. Real world spirituality.
My mission has become clearer as this year has gone on. And clearly I’ve listened to it (like finally launching the spiritual material girl) and other times I’ve taken the scenic route to get there.
All in all, I know the shit that gets me crazy passionate is about bringing spirituality into the real world. It’s not just for yoga geeks and meditation freaks. It’s for all the other kids with the pumped up kicks!
Why am I so passionate about spirituality? Because accessing spirituality is the quickest way to living your best life. Full stop. A life that’s fucking fun, exciting and full of smiles. I mean, life’s meant to be enjoyed right? Being real world spiritual is your secret weapon to making your dream life a reality.
So expect more posts on this.
+++
I’ve accepted now this has been my journey this year, that I needed to be the kid, trialling and making errors. Playing to lose so eventually I’ll win.
And I’ve done that in the full breadth of the public. With you, right by my side.
And so I’m so freaking thankful for sticking around this whole time.
THANK YOU!
For riding this crazy wave of possibility, of experimentation, of exploration with me.
And if you’re experiencing what I am, I invite you to let your inner kid shine.
Stop judging and let the learnings come to you.
Stop worry what others will think of you, because your crew are always going to think the world of you. But also, fuck ‘em and think the world of yourself already!
+++
And finally, As I re-read over my about page, written in Dec 2013 a huge-ass smile came over me. I laughed and thought fuck I love being me.
Because even though I’ve gone through so many different reincarnations of my business self, who I am at my truth, my core, my highest self never changed…. and is summed up as follows:
I could be my badass, Harry Styles loving self while STILL wanting to be an old lady on Friday nights, rock out to Metallica on Saturday–and having THAT be my meditation instead of sitting on a mat for 5 hours! (All the while wearing a Hanson shirt, of course).
+++
Here’s to making mistakes, learning fast and living with a full heart.
The post The One Wild Ride That Has Been 2014: My Truth, My Desires + My Lessons appeared first on Elizabeth McKenzie | Your Highest Self.
